Barzini's Guide to Facebook Etiquette Part 2

I know I haven't blogged in forever... but here is a lil something to hold you over till i get back.

Back by popular demand! Here is the second installment to safe and proper FaceBooking... The first installment saved a lot of lives. So I hope you all enjoy this one as well...

Lets get right to it...


1. If I talk to you on a regular basis…then you already know “How well I know you.” Cool it with the damn quizzes already…


2. I don’t care what you thought or how you rate movies. Dammit if I wanna see it I’m still gonna go.

3. How are you gonna convince me to join your Mafia by telling me how addicting it is? As if Facebook itself doesn’t rob enough of my time.

4. Have you ever been having a heart to heart with someone, then later see your conversation as part of their damn status…posted at the time they were supposed to be LISTENING to you…?

5. We know you jumped outta bed and “turned your swag on” so you won’t be “tardy to the party” in “Miami trick” cause you “have a big ego”. We get it already….damn


6. Quit spamming my wall up with your bogus ass relationships. First you in one, then you out, then you engaged, then it’s complicated…how bout you wait till you’re together a while before goin public.

7. I wonder if along with the single, in a relationship, married, etc. options if FB added “Jumpoff”…how many of you would be honest enough with yourself to check that option?

8. I don’t care what singer you are, what transformer you are, what MJ song you are, which of the Girlfriends or Sex in the City character you are, what city you should be living in, your dream house, which Real Housewife of Atlanta you are…to be honest I really don’t care who most of you are in real life…

9. I need you to learn how to use the comment box. Im tired of people responding to my status with a wall post. There IS a difference people…

10. Don’t poke me.

11. I find it damn ironic that people comment on how often

12. I’m logged on or that I’m ALWAYS posting something. Well…wouldn’t YOU have to be logged on or checkin my status to know that?

13. I won’t call you idiots…but I think it’s IDIOTIC when people get excited about the supposed accuracy of their damn horoscopes… if I see one more person say “ooohhh that is so me!” They are broad generalizations of common personality traits. They apply to EVERYONE genius!

14. Why do people update their status while they’re at the movies? And why am I on the toilet writing this?

15. Why do people announce that they are about to delete people from their friends list? I think its pretty audacious of you to think you’re THAT important that others would even care. I mean you act as if you didn’t request or confirm them in the first damn place. People don’t become part of your network randomly. And when you make that announcement, what are you expecting them to do anyway, start vying for your affection and approval? “Oh no PLEASE don’t delete me! You’re my whole reason for logging on!” Narcissism at its finest…

16. God loves you…we know, we know… but how would you feel if you knew he wanted to slap the crap out of you sometimes!

17. How many of you cry after reading your honesty box?

18. STOP TAGGING ME IN THOSE DAMN ZODIAC PICS! Besides, I’m only HALF Aquarius.

19. Ok listen. I have a lot of friends on here, or at least more than average. Many of which I actually know or have an association with. Now this may be partially my fault since I’m the type of person that doesn’t like to admit that I have no idea who you are. So if we should meet in person, please don’t expect me to be able to decipher your face in real life based on your FB pics (cause we know you only post the good ones). INTRODUCE YOURSELF!

20. Your comments on my status don’t qualify as a conversation or a memory between you and I. So I reiterate, don’t just come choppin it up all familiar. For one, it makes ME feel bad for not knowing you. Two, it makes YOU look bad for being a lame. Let’s establish a foundation first. THEN we can talk about a bunch a stuff you have no idea I don’t even care about.

Random: NBC has the most boring newscast.

21. Don’t text me saying “I tried hittin you up on FB.” First off if FB is your primary source of communication…you’re a LAME. And if you have my number…I’m not even gonna finish that thought.


22. I probably see “Chivalry is dead” posted about 10 times a week on average. When I see that, I immediately check your relationship status and have yet to see “married” or “in a relationship” next to it. Things that make you go “HMMMMMMMMMMMM”.

That's all for now folx.

As always, I hope you got ya "Good Drawls" on.

I love you all!

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