Barzini's Guide to Facebook Etiquette Part 2

I know I haven't blogged in forever... but here is a lil something to hold you over till i get back.

Back by popular demand! Here is the second installment to safe and proper FaceBooking... The first installment saved a lot of lives. So I hope you all enjoy this one as well...

Lets get right to it...


1. If I talk to you on a regular basis…then you already know “How well I know you.” Cool it with the damn quizzes already…


2. I don’t care what you thought or how you rate movies. Dammit if I wanna see it I’m still gonna go.

3. How are you gonna convince me to join your Mafia by telling me how addicting it is? As if Facebook itself doesn’t rob enough of my time.

4. Have you ever been having a heart to heart with someone, then later see your conversation as part of their damn status…posted at the time they were supposed to be LISTENING to you…?

5. We know you jumped outta bed and “turned your swag on” so you won’t be “tardy to the party” in “Miami trick” cause you “have a big ego”. We get it already….damn


6. Quit spamming my wall up with your bogus ass relationships. First you in one, then you out, then you engaged, then it’s complicated…how bout you wait till you’re together a while before goin public.

7. I wonder if along with the single, in a relationship, married, etc. options if FB added “Jumpoff”…how many of you would be honest enough with yourself to check that option?

8. I don’t care what singer you are, what transformer you are, what MJ song you are, which of the Girlfriends or Sex in the City character you are, what city you should be living in, your dream house, which Real Housewife of Atlanta you are…to be honest I really don’t care who most of you are in real life…

9. I need you to learn how to use the comment box. Im tired of people responding to my status with a wall post. There IS a difference people…

10. Don’t poke me.

11. I find it damn ironic that people comment on how often

12. I’m logged on or that I’m ALWAYS posting something. Well…wouldn’t YOU have to be logged on or checkin my status to know that?

13. I won’t call you idiots…but I think it’s IDIOTIC when people get excited about the supposed accuracy of their damn horoscopes… if I see one more person say “ooohhh that is so me!” They are broad generalizations of common personality traits. They apply to EVERYONE genius!

14. Why do people update their status while they’re at the movies? And why am I on the toilet writing this?

15. Why do people announce that they are about to delete people from their friends list? I think its pretty audacious of you to think you’re THAT important that others would even care. I mean you act as if you didn’t request or confirm them in the first damn place. People don’t become part of your network randomly. And when you make that announcement, what are you expecting them to do anyway, start vying for your affection and approval? “Oh no PLEASE don’t delete me! You’re my whole reason for logging on!” Narcissism at its finest…

16. God loves you…we know, we know… but how would you feel if you knew he wanted to slap the crap out of you sometimes!

17. How many of you cry after reading your honesty box?

18. STOP TAGGING ME IN THOSE DAMN ZODIAC PICS! Besides, I’m only HALF Aquarius.

19. Ok listen. I have a lot of friends on here, or at least more than average. Many of which I actually know or have an association with. Now this may be partially my fault since I’m the type of person that doesn’t like to admit that I have no idea who you are. So if we should meet in person, please don’t expect me to be able to decipher your face in real life based on your FB pics (cause we know you only post the good ones). INTRODUCE YOURSELF!

20. Your comments on my status don’t qualify as a conversation or a memory between you and I. So I reiterate, don’t just come choppin it up all familiar. For one, it makes ME feel bad for not knowing you. Two, it makes YOU look bad for being a lame. Let’s establish a foundation first. THEN we can talk about a bunch a stuff you have no idea I don’t even care about.

Random: NBC has the most boring newscast.

21. Don’t text me saying “I tried hittin you up on FB.” First off if FB is your primary source of communication…you’re a LAME. And if you have my number…I’m not even gonna finish that thought.


22. I probably see “Chivalry is dead” posted about 10 times a week on average. When I see that, I immediately check your relationship status and have yet to see “married” or “in a relationship” next to it. Things that make you go “HMMMMMMMMMMMM”.

That's all for now folx.

As always, I hope you got ya "Good Drawls" on.

I love you all!

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Barzini's Guide to Facebook Etiquette

Ok so we doin this Facebook thing for a lil while now and I think it’s time we address a few things…aight? aight…

First thing’s first…

1)Stop posting ambiguous ass messages to people that you’re afraid to address in person. Why does Facebook always seem to make people real brave tryna get the cyberworld to co-sign. Stop being E-Gangsters.

2)If you are at a party or gathering and something funny happens…can you designate ONE person to post about it instead of everyone at the party. Thanx…preciate that.

3)This is a HUGE one. STOP PUTTIN ALL YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS IN THE STREETS VIA FACEBOOK STATUS’. Everybody doesn’t need to know everything you going thru in your life. You got 50 11 people in your friends list and not ONE you can CALL and share your feelings with? Facebook doesn’t care about your life.

4)We don’t wanna read your indirect commentary about how “ballin” you are, then come on here crying about the folx that owe you money! If you so ballin then stop bellyachin about someone who owes you money. It’s only dough right? It’s nothin to a BOSS right? GTFOHWTS!

5)Stop flooding my news feed with your EVERY move! This isn’t Twitter. But you can follow me on Twitter by clicking here.

6)If you fornicated at night, don’t wake up E-Preachin in the morning.

7)If your status begins with “Why do men/women always…” then its YOU that’s screwed up! Take a page from MJ and Make that CHANGE!

8)Stop sending me messages asking why I didn’t accept your damn hug, smile, gift, drink, car, house, booty squeeze, return poke, join your cause to make leaves green again, eradicate plastics goods, or make every Tuesday “Big Hat Day”. I don’t add all those damn apps to my page!

9)I don’t mind you sending invites to your party. But don’t give me the option to say NO or Maybe then send me messages asking why I said it. That aint yo damn bidness! Lemme make it easy for you. If your event is not in my vicinity, I’m most likely not coming. If your event IS in my vicinity, I’m most likely not coming. I support what and who I support when I decide. Respect my fresh homie!

10)Stop Status Stalking! Anyone have someone that has to comment on EVERYTHING you post? It’s like that person that ALWAYS seems to be in your neighborhood and wants to stop by your house. Ion wanna see you that much.

11)Stop getting all hella familiar with people in their status. People always gotta let the world know that you know someone. That is why an INBOX exists. Stop leaving comments that aint got nothing to do with the topic tryna be familiar. No one cares that yall know each other.

12)I don’t post my personal business on Facebook… Stop calling and texting me asking what I mean or who I’m talking about. If it concerns you, then dammit you’ll know!

13)I need to people to understand the “TAG” feature is REAL! If you are gonna lie about where you are or where you are going…it’s prolly not a good idea to be posing in erebodies pics and being the life of the party… Tagging has wrecked many a home in these parts.

14)And FYI I’m sleeping with every woman I pose with in my pics section. And the last time I slept with all of them was the night before you asked me about them.

Use Facebook carefully and always with you "Good Drawls" on...

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I love you all...

Friends!

Friends...
Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun
How many of us have them?
Friends...
Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun
Ones we can depend on...

It says a lot about the character of a person who has no friends! It really makes me ask “what are you doing with your life?” I’m not saying that someone with friends is a bad person. But I do feel that without strong friendships a person is missing out the quality of life. You can be smart, successful, rich, and everything else but with no one to share it with, in my opinion it’s all for none.

What is your life worth if you gain all these individual accomplishments and have no one there to appreciate you for it? What is it worth to not have someone you can share your deep thoughts with? What is it worth to never have someone there to lend a hand when you are in need? What is it worth for no one to care about anything you do?

I hear people say all the time how they don’t get along with people. Or they don’t have time for friendships. I’m as busy as the next man, and at times I admit to not being as available to my friends as I should. BUT I stand comforted by the fact that I have REAL friends in my life. Friends that trust me with their lives, and that I can trust with anything.

Some people don’t even have friends within their own family.

I know someone who had a birthday party at a club, and not one person showed to celebrate with them. I can’t even begin to imagine how that must feel.

I can’t live that life. My friends are very important to me and a big part of my life.

To all my real friends that are reading this I thank God for you. I thank you for your hearts. I thank you for your ears. I thank you for putting up with me. I thank you for you love and support. Mostly I thank you for allowing me to be ME and still remaining my friend *cheese*

I strongly encourage all of you to mend those broken relationships. Constantly create new relationships. Preserve your current relationships.

The relationships that you create today do not only affect you. I have gained favor in my life based on my father’s relationships. I was never picked on in school based on my older brother’s relationships. And because of my relationships, when my son’s son falls down, there will be a hand there to help him up.

Get up and put on ya Good Drawls!! Life is short. Get everything out of it that you possibly can…

I love you all…

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Legacy of a King

Not until the recent election of Barack Obama can I think of a man who affected the entire world the way Michael Jackson has.

His music transcended time, race, generations, and culture. Never has there been an artist who with his music can evoke joy, sadness, political awareness, and love. With a wave of his hand can move masses into excitement.

Today I am don’t know what to think, I just feel. So many of my memories coming up as a child include MJ. I idolized him for years.

How many of us have memories of doin all of his dances at family gatherings for the grown folx entertainment? How many of you remember getting excited when you first learned how to moon walk? How many of you still go crazy at a party when you hear an MJ classic come on? Who else do you know that can sell 90 million copies of a single album? There is none like MJ.

I can remember seeing him on TV perform “Billie Jean at the Motown 25 Celebration”. It was one of the most electrifying things I remember seeing. I wanted to be just like Mike.
I was sooooo mad when my mom never got my “Beat It” and “Thriller” jackets out of layway!!!

I can remember watching Moonwalker over and over and over again.

Who has ever popped MJ in the deck when they were feeling down? And if so who was able to stay that way? “Off the Wall” is the feel good song of my life. Followed by “Can You Feel It” and “Blame It on th Boogie”.

How many of you really did some soul searching after you heard “Man in the Mirror”?

One of my personal Jackson 5 faves was “Maria”…

Now that he is gone, what will we do? Who will be next?

The man who lives for nothing fears death, but he who leaves a legacy understands that he will never die…

Michael Jackson will never die. He has left us a long lasting unforgettable legacy. He changed the face (literally) of music and dance. He revolutionized the world of music videos. I only wish he got to live the normal life some of us enjoyed…even if just for a brief moment.

My heart and prayers go out to the Jackson Family…

RIP Mike 1958-2009

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Real Life in Animation

Where are all the real CARTOONS! I swear I feel sorry for kids now days. No wonder all they do is play video games…cause cartoons just really SUCK! I swear every cartoon is people that turn in to something stupid, or some damn battle game with monsters and demonic creatures.

I mean where are all the OG cartoons like Woody Woodpecker, and the Smurfs. Where is Voltron and the Thundercats. Where are the real plots. Where are the cartoons that kept kids tuning in every week for them to keep up…

One of my favorite cartoons of all time is Alvin and the Chipmunks! Back in the 80’s cartoons could also be very political. They also sought out to educate children about different issues they may face.

Think about it… The Chipmunks were orphans who were adopted. And kept getting into trouble. There was an episode about bullying where Mr. T shows up to help. There was also an episode where they leave to go find their real parents only to realize they can’t handle that lifestyle.

The most powerful episode however that damn near led me to tears was an episode called “The Wall”. Alvin and company went to Berlin for a concert when they are separated from Dave (their adopted father) on the other side of the wall. It was meant to show children the oppression that exists around the world. At that time is was the Berlin Wall. At the end they sang the most powerful song I have ever heard in a cartoon also called “The Wall”. It was a call for everyone around the world to come together. And even though it was a chipmunk song…I was moved.

Some day the pain of war will be healed.
Some day when we can speak what we feel
Let The Wall come down
Tumble to the ground
And love will live in peace all around…


I love that song even to this day.

With so much more going on today, in Iran, in Afghanistan, in Iraq, in Pakistan, in Israel, in Darfur, in AMERICA. I don’t want my kids watching teenagers turn into DINOSAURS!

Where is our voice? And how are we giving our young people a voice?

It’s time teach our children how to put they “Good Drawls” on…

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Lakers and Life

Ok while everything in me wants to write the longest most braggadocios blog about the Lakers Championship. I will refrain. This is more about why I love the Lakers so much…

With the influx of bandwagon fans that we have picked up over the years, it’s become really difficult to decipher REAL fans from the fair-weather feathery folks whose loyalty floats them to where ever the next likely championship will land.

A REAL fan stands by their team through success and prosperity as well as lowly sub par years and rebuilding stages. A REAL fan knows the team’s history and accomplishments. A real fan doesn’t make excuses, flip flop, or deviate from supporting their team. A REAL fan is often obnoxious and even pushed to the brink of anger in defense of their team. There is no room for objectivity for a REAL fan.

Growing up I didn’t have much. I was also not raised with a family for much of my life and didn’t have cousins, aunts, and uncles around me. My brother and I were raised by our father on the west coast 3000 miles away from the rest of our family. As a single father he had to work a lot to be able to support his boys.

Without our mother around living with us, there was a lot we missed out on as far as sensitivity and nurturing. As a man, it took dad a while to learn that skill. Instead, our family time and bonding came during what was a family pass time…LAKER GAMES!

We weren’t allowed to eat in front of the TV…so I remember inhaling dinner so that we wouldn’t miss tip off. I remember always laughing at my dad throwing things at the TV when they would be losing. I remember being allowed to cuss with him at the TV. Or maybe he just never noticed. He was much better at it than I was. I remember days being great and we usually got Burger King is they won! I also remember staying out of dad’s way when they lost.

My passion for the Lakers isn’t some fly by night fix. My passion for the Lakers reminds me of times with the only family I had coming up. It reminds me of the times when we forgot about the things we didn’t have. We forgot about all the troubles life offered us and we were all on the same page. There we say at every game huddled on the couch yelling and screaming, cheering and cussing (and getting away with it). I’m reminded of watching Magic go coast to coast, Kareem with his sky hook, Big Game James with his patented spin move, Coop’s socks and tenacious defense, and just the overall culture of SHOWTIME.

So much has happened to the three of us since then. And though life has pulled the three of us in different directions. We are still bonded together by our team. We still cuss at the TV. We are still emotional when we lose. We still call each other to talk about the games. And we still get together when we can to do it all just like we did back then.

More than anything, I am reminded that I am a black man who ALWAYS had a father in his life. So many of us don’t know what it’s like to be able to sit between their father and big brother on the couch and just bond. Or the excitement of scoring tickets to a game and cheering just as hard as Jack Nicholson even though we’re in the nose bleed seats. I am reminded that things can always be worse than anything I may go through.

The Lakers aren’t just a team. And it is never just a game to me. The Lakers have always been and will always be a part of my life…

Congratulations to the Los Angeles Lakers! You got ya “Good Drawls” on…

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No Complaints... No Excuses...

With all the talent and ability we have been given in this life, most of us still manage to make excuses as to why we have not lived up to our potential. Myself included. And I really had to think about it. Why do we make excuses? I find that most people make excuses in order to feel better about THEMSELVES!

We all get the same amount of hours in a day. What you choose to do with those hours however are on YOU! I was thoroughly inspired but a young man’s story. His name is Dan Caro. Dan is an amazing drummer and accomplished musician. He is one of the most sought after drummers in the New Orleans area. He is also a graduate of one of the most prestigious music academies in the south.

It isn’t my love for music that inspires me about Dan Caro’s accomplishments. It is his story and what he has overcome to get there.

You see at the age of 2, Dan Caro was in a horrible accident as a result of an explosion in his home. He was not expected to live. Though he survived, Dan lost all of his fingers.

A young man with no reason to live or survive, overcame the seemingly impossible. He did not let his deformity keep him from realizing his potential. And when I hear him play, I was blown away. And then it made me think… what gives us the RIGHT to make excuses for our lives? What gives us the RIGHT to complain about ANYTHING? What gives us the RIGHT not to succeed?

I work hard. Those who know me best probably think I work too hard. But I say…I haven’t been working hard enough.

If you are not where you want to be in your life… it’s YOUR fault. And my question to you is this… what excuses are you going to make now?

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Stud Love

So a brotha was out gettin his laundry on… chillin. Now even in on my worst days I got the swag dial turned up to 10. GOT TO!

I’m comin out the spot after startin a load cause I really hate sittin in the laundry mat, its not ballin at all. As I’m getting in the swag mobile I hear this voice say… “Mmmm…You gon wash my clothes too?” At that point Playa mode was on automatic. So as I turned to see where this sweet lil voice was comin from I looked in the car next to me and got the damn shock of the week (clearly not the shock of my life. especially if you know some of the things I been through). Who I saw could NOT have been who just spoke to me… so I’m lookin around in the car to see if there was anyone else in the there. Luckily there was a chick in there that was kinda cute…so I responded to her like I didn’t hear what she said… so the voice repeated itself “you gon wash my clothes too?” and I damn near pissed myself in surprise. Cause I coulda SWORN it was a dude in the car. Turns out it was a damn STUD! Sittin there gruntin and battin her eyes and smilin and what not.

I’m not sure how long I stayed there frozen… but after I shook it off and fought myself from sayin AWW HELL NAW! I think I just said “naw im cool…” or something like that. But the swag-o-meter dialed down quickly. I mean I couldn’t really throw on to deep voice to try and be all intimidating. She might have been turned on by that. But then again..i had to ask myself, why would a STUD be attracted to or try to hit on ME?

I started feelin all kinds of funny…

Then I felt a lil bit disrespected like a gay dude hit on me… but then was like, this is a chick hittin on me. But this chick likes other chicks… but maybe she doesn’t… maybe she just looks like a dude… but if she likes dudes why wouldn’t she just look like a chick…

Should I be offended? Or feel kinda cocky cause I’m bringin em back home…

Either way... ima do it with my Good Drawls on...

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Fallen Star

The other night we lost yet another young black man to violence. 18 year old Dannie Farber Jr. was murdered in cold blood. The reason other than ignorance is unknown. I hate to hear that our young men and women are dying senselessly. And I hate the fact that it’s becoming a such a normal occurrence, that no one is really even alarmed by it anymore.

But lemme learn ya what I REALLY have a problem with.

As I’m watching the news I catch an interview with his girlfriend. She was sitting right there when he was shot four times. And she said he died in her arms. Now as she was talking I noticed two things. Her ability to articulate what happened, and her lack of tears. I mean she sounded like she wanted to cry, but it wasn’t nann tear fallin from her face. Now I aint tryna call her a liar or nothin. But c’mon. You KNOW how women react to stuff like that. They fallin all over the place. Cant barley get a word out. Atleast I know sistas do. This young lady just happened to be a Latina. See I’m an actor (or atleast I like to think so) and I know how to SOUND like I’m crying, or sleeping, or busy. But its hard as hell to actually to get some tears to fall. And it seemed like she was really tryin to get to that place to squeeze a couple out.

Now here is something else that bothers me. Now I’m no criminal, but I know there are some basic criminal rules (not that they are always followed). But if I’m gonna be bold enough to take someone’s life, I aint leavin no damn WITNESSES! Now how is this young man and his girlfriend are sitting there eating dinner, and someone can walk in and shoot him four times IN FRONT OF HER, and she doesn’t get so much as a scratch. She can identify me. Maybe he/she was a dumb criminal. Or maaaaaybe…

I mean they are doin this massive search for the criminal and petitioning the public. I say ASK THE DAMN GIRLFRIEND! Cause something just aint addin up.

Maybe it’s just my conspiracy theorist hat on. The story is new so I’m sure there is more to come. But as it stands, I gots to say it like Keith Sweat “Somethin Somthin, Somethin Somethin Just Aint Riiiiight”

That’s all for now… have a great day and make sure you got on ya “Good Drawls”…

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So What Does "Good Drawls" Mean?

Sometimes things that we do or say take a life of their own… lately a lot of people have been asking me about my constant references to “Good Drawls”. Well first let me say that it’s not some morbid obsession with underwear… “Good Drawls” is a concept. It’s an idea. It’s a way of thinking. More than anything, “Good Drawls” is a lifestyle.

Remember when you were young, and your mom would always tell you to make sure you had on clean underwear? I mean who’s gonna be looking at my Underoos anyway? But to parents it meant everything! God forbid you get hit by a car and the paramedics cut off your clothes. Now never mind the fact that you just got hit by a damn car…but you BET not get hit and caught with some dirty Drawls on. It speak to the age old parental adage “YOU REPRESENT ME!”. Let’s not mention that the parent was not supervising the kid well enough to prevent them from a life threatening ordeal right. I mean that happens everyday so no biggie. But you’re a HORRIBLE parent if your kid gets caught wit skid marks! But I digress…

They term “Good Drawls” IS a representation of oneself. How DO you represent yourself and the way you were raised? How do you represent your way of thinking? What is your attitude in life?

A child that has on good clean under wear shows that they are being and taught and well taken care of. Dirty under wear shows neglect, bad hygiene, and just plain ole NASTINESS!

In order to progress in life, you must have a good representation of yourself. In order to get through hard times you must change your attitude and way of thinking. In order for people to accept and follow you, to believe in you and follow your vision, you gotta put ya “Good Drawls” on.

If you have a positive mindset, you got ya “Good Drawls” on. If you’re a go getter, you got ya “Good Drawls” on, if you are inspiring people and setting an example, you got ya “Good Drawls” on. If you don’t let life keep you down, you got ya “Good Drawls” on. If you refuse to complain, even though you can, you got ya “Good Drawls” on.

Getting up and puttin ya “Good Drawls” on is a virtue in life. You even have drawls that you wear with certain outfits. Ladies….when you wanna feel sexy, or turn ya man on…what do you do? You put ya “Good Drawls” on!

So now you know what it means to put ya “Good Drawls” on… and now that you know, pay it forward! If you hear someone complain…tell em to their “Good Drawls” on. If you see someone slackin off or being lazy…tell em to put their “Good Drawls” on. If they aren’t routing for the Lakers…tell em to REALLY put their “Good Drawls” on.

Live life with no apologies, Love hard with no regrets… and put ya “Good Drawls” on.

I love you all…
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To My Mothers With Their "Good Drawls" On...

What’s poppin everybody…Welcome to Good Drawls! I think it only appropriate that my first post be posted on Mother’s Day since this is the birth of something of new. So my very first post is a shout out to all you Mothers out there.

I want to thank all the strong mothers out there who have sacrificed everything for the benefit of their child. There is no love parallel to a mother’s love. I mean a real mother’s love. Just because you laid down, got pregnant, and pushed a kid up outta ya don’t mean you a real mother.

I’m talking about those make sure you had everything you need mommas,

I’m talking about the don’t let you get away with bloody murder mommas,

I’m talking about the sit with you when you got a fever and a cough at 2am mommas,

I’m talking about the bake cupcakes for the whole kindergarten class mommas,

I’m talking about the mommas that know how to make fried bologna sandwiches taste better than McDonalds,

I’m talking about the embarrassing screaming momma at your basketball games,

I’m talking about the “Don’t make me come in there!” mommas.

A mother’s love seems to always make it all better. A mother’s words have the power to make you feel invincible. It is her nurturing spirit that gives you the energy to keep going, even when you want to quit.

She is beautiful

She is strong

She is wise

She is resilient

She is life

So here’s to all the mother’s with their “Good Drawls” on… Happy Mother’s Day!

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